354.

2012 to me was just a continuation from 2011. Things were still falling in and out of place and my family and I were still adjusting to life after my mum's death in April 2011. It was yet another trying year for me, but I can honestly say it has taught me so much and I now know exactly what I want and where I want my life to go.

At first I thought of opening up and getting into detail about all the ups and downs that I went through but I decided against it because it's in the past. Despite all the pain, anxiety, heartbreak, confusion and emptiness, right now, I am happy.

I'm the closest I've ever been to my family and it took a breakdown for that to happen but I am so glad because I have the best relationship with my father now. Being able to call him and just cry for 5 minutes about anything that is bothering me has become very comforting and I feel safe. I love my dad for everything he is and how he tries so hard everyday to give his kids everything that we want and keep us happy. I know it's not easy for him to try and wear my mum's shoes but he is doing a damn good job at it. I'm so proud to be his daughter and all I want to do is make him proud in return for all the trust, faith and love he has shown me.

I've come to accept that none of my past relationships have worked because of one guy. One very special guy who despite everything, is still in my life right now. He brings out the best and worst in me and though our situation is still not ideal, it's heading in the right direction. He makes me the happiest and I'm ready to just stay put and make it work.

2013 started off in the most amazing way. Like a dream come true. I am so lucky.
It's hard to think that the year isn't only gonna get better because I can feel it in me. I am ready to be better. Here's to a year with more happiness than sorrow, because it would be delusional to think that the ups don't come with the downs.